We made fun of Jean Shorts. Here's the transcript. - ECSEI
Thursday, October 6, 2022
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We made fun of Jean Shorts. Here’s the transcript.

We Fought About Jean Shorts. Here's the Transcript.

Kitting for any outdoor sport is a careful consideration game. Many runners, hikers, mountain bikers and skiers are probably familiar with the act of balance: carry all the technical equipment you need to stay comfortable, protected, warm and dry, while channeling enough nonchalance so that people know that they really don’t care. Come in. Once a cultural phenomenon of origin, the trend of denim-shorts has recently been incorporated. This led our gear editors to a heated instant message debate: are customers really jorts if they are specifically designed for outdoor sports?

Will Taylor, Team director: What is the perfect short length?

Kelly Klein, onessociate gear editor: Right now?

WT: When you’re ready, Kelly.

KK: ^5 inches inseam for women, debate solved

WT: Well, I love a 5-inch inseam but inappropriate for guys at work?

Ben Tepler, gear editor: I’m an advocate of outrageous fashion options, so I say totally appropriate. Except when he’s Micah wearing t-shirts.

WT:Why I hate prostitutes, for Ben Tepler. Why do you hate Jorts, Ben?

BT: Look, I’ll admit I have a grudge against the blows.

KK: Maybe you’re not wearing the right shirts Ben! You’ve taken the Riptons For a ride?

Ariella Gintzler, associate gear director: Hot take: The Riptons are not blows

[ed. note: Many Get out. editors I swear to Riptons., which are in fact the performance denim, although the act of buying a pair of custom jorts has a different energy to boot the legs of a pair of crushed jeans in a parking lot. ]

BT: I think I looked. Hot Summer American many times in high school



Wet Hot American Summer is an argument for customers

Micah Abrams, VP content, adventure sports: Riptons are for posers

WT: Shots




WT: Have we tried Riptons, Micah?

MA: My only shorts are cut. Final stop. I’d turn Riptons into cutbacks.

[ed note: Many Riptons are, in fact, cutoffs. ]

WT: They haven’t tried Riptons, Kelly. That’s all I’m hearing.

KK: I’m 100% pro Riptons! Look good, feel good.



WT: It only reinforces Kelly’s point. Paul Rudd deserved an Oscar for that role


BT: The tits are tearing this family apart

AG: The wounds are a way to be Guys. If they didn’t come from your old 11th grade jeans, or from a second-hand store, they’re not jorts.

KK: All right, but. What if you want to participate in this way of life but you can’t because you have terrible sweat problems?

WT: … and how to be comfortable while you PERFORM


KK: (I don’t have terrible sweating problems……)

AG: Okay, I heard. To be clear, I think the performance denim shorts are a great thing. I’d probably use them all the time if I had them! I wouldn’t call them friends.

KK: They’re bullshit.


WT: So bound by the rules

BT: Open your mind

WT: #ifjort

KK: Hahahaha

WT: end

MA: The Levites worked for the cowboys — THE ORIGINAL EXTREM ATOLES

BT: He said “fin,” Micah.

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